A JOURNEY WITH STEPHEN
PART V

There are two lawns filled with
LIONS WITH COURAGE
too They (the two) passed us by in the past
this way before
(its true!)

Enter if you so dare!
Now of the tin copper kettle man
and one followed by crows.
Why those crows are so scared of you and you too
they boo your presence
once or twice at the top of that
you see
beyond the passage...
the passage way
...of secrets.
Wuff!!! Wuff!!! Did I SCARE you?? Gotta have a little courage that's all! I tell you... there is absolutely nothing to be scared of!! Just follow me OK...(you big babies) Come on Toto and of course you too Tootoo! Come on fellas and ladies of the morning, noon and night! Right this way...watch your step don't rip now Right through this itsy bitsy passage way And right on up that hill Here all push you There you go!! Hooray!!! We made it!!

Now just remember to wear your BEST masks And be yourself for goodness sake If you dare? After all I do it all the time!!! Oh and behave yourself Because that's your key to happiness for the day And if you luck and you behave yourselves Remember that little coin pouch and rolled up little ball of tissues Grandmama Nana used to hid underneath that powder blue blanket of hers you know right next her pretty black rosary beads, well Grandmama Nana just might...

make it rain...… PENNIES FROM HEAVEN If you do... There is certainly enough to go around Cause Grandmama Nana She left a whole closet full of pennies For You and You and You And even Toto and Tootto Too Its true!

MORE ZOO KNEWS!!
WHO KNEW?
YOU?
Oh the Staten Island Zoo has grown in stature and substance immensely over the years. Have you ever been to the Staten Island Zoo? Well, if you care to remember, it was truly lovely back then and even more now! Alas, fellow members of my foresting flock...

oh so beautiful and amply exquisite outdoor attractions will embrace you wholeheartedly at the famed Staten Island Zoo!! Zoo knews!! who knew him?? you? Too?

Now the pretty and adorably cute Staten Island zoo of the new Millennia (I think Stephen would like that expression!!) includes but is certainly not limited to:

pretty and sturdy shy and sheepish sheep, loveable long tongued lamas, long horned gargoyle goats some with full beards, some with gloating goatees none with distinguishable and any visible signs of stash,

zoo knew
you knew
how much I knew
of you
through
all you do
Just remember now...
this is not
just some ordinary
bull!!
J
a...
big bulky bellowing bull
(now trust me when I say...
he
(THAT BULL)
hardly takes
NO!
for an answer
at feeding time
when...
obviously
it is so very apparent
he is downright
so full of it!
and
himself
(for that matter)
why the palm of you hand all so full of friendly faced...

more
zoo tails...
(continued) (BACK TO LOTS OF BULL!)

within a pencil thin fence... you will meet a few puny pigs and a babe or two slopping slop to noontime delight OH PLEASE STOP!!!!! MONKEY SEE MONKEY DO MONKEY SEE YOU TOO!!! AT THE ZOO!!!! Now... those frisky finicky restless chickens All of them And there are many... will just crack you up so with a all that gargling like crackling noise! A few of those crackles are personal you know Directed and meant too for you and you, can you smell it???!! THE DIRTY DOZEN OR TWO! Oh there's an egg or two laid JusT there(!!) on their own... (some just rotten I suppose) CHICKENS THAT MAKE ENDS MEET AT THE ZOO! ...a buck, buck, buck!!! ALL THOSE CHICKENS they like to... cry, CHIRPLE and cry just like old wise business men! A BUCK BUCK BUCK!!! LEGENDS OF THE ZOO LIKE A FORK IN THE ROAD WE PAUSE...

Now you may ask...how did we get to the zoo here anyway in our journey through: "Stephen's Space…In Time"?

Well, please allow me to share the following thoughts and observations...we can celebrate a person, and 'in particular" this very person we do celebrate today, my very dear friend, and oh so much loved brother, Stephen Michael Endress, not just by what he looks like: If we do that we might as well just stop here and say our goodbyes and all go home because he (Stephen) was simply:

VERY HANDSOMINGLY ATTRACTIVE
AND A HUNK OF A MAN
SO SWEET AND NICE
HE MADE OTHERS SEEMINGLY MELT RIGHT THERE
IN HIS FOREVER SO PRINCELY PRESENCE
WITH HIS SWEET CHARM
THERE IS
SO MUCH MORE
TO STEPHEN!
AND HIS OH SO LOVING
COMPASSIONATE DEMEANOR
AND WHEN IN DOUBT
STEPHEN'S HUMOR WOULD WIN YOU OVER.
WITH SUCH EASE, SUCH PEACEFUL GRACE!
He (Stephen) was the type of person that when you first meet him and after a short time of simple chat and pleasantries with him.. you really truly felt you knew him…before…somewhere…or quite maybe for a very long time as well and that he (Stephen) knew you and of you and all about you as well!
One cannot measure someone as well just by one's words and/or deeds (even Stephen would remind you of that). Unselfish love and compassion however speaks volumes much louder and so it is easy for me to say without family bias this Stephen certainly transmitted and gave of himself wholeheartedly in those areas now didn't he.

MUCH A DO... ABOUT STEPHEN! (CONTINUED)

Now probing further Stephen's many, many joys in life such as his many, many friends was his family. The family Sir Stephen gave his very heart and soul to!
But it his much loved family: In particular: Stephen's adored Mother, Stephen's sweetheart of a sister Maureen and Stephen's sweetly adored and treasured niece Colleen That simply and ever so sweetly struck chords of sweet melodious melody and 'music of harmony' in Stephens life and heart and chore most I believe.

MY DEAR BROTHER AND FRIEND… LIVED HIS WITH JOY… AND FILLED OUR LIVES WITH IT! AND THAT TOO OF HIS SWEET MUSIC!

Joys Such A Plenty: His music, his song, his singing, THE CHORUS of STONEWALL, his studies at Hunter College to become what his heart begged for him to do - to become a Certified Honest to Goodness Social Worker - oh how this world needed him (our Stephen). The joys of all those very special times with family, his work, his play, even his agony and pain:
- for my very special brother Stephen embraced every brick of life like the very one's that he in turn was surrounded himself in that being Holy Trinity Lutheran Church or as Stephen would put it "Holey TrinitiTTTEEEEE Lutheran Chhhurrrch of the Holy TRINITIE!!!"
now… "being sad" was something Stephen rarely ever showed or shared with others… for I believe Stephen felt "being sad" got in the way of him doing something good for others! Sharing... Stephens sorrow
I can only assume that some of Stephen's sorrow could have been found centered around his health (and why not for he was obviously in so much comfort and pain) - much more than most of us realized.
But it seems that Stephen in some ways eased that DEEP PAIN by comforting others (including some of his closest friends and dear sweet lovers of relationships past) in their pain, others in their state of agony, and others in their deep, deep sadness.
Sorrow turned into a little peace and a bit of happiness cradled in all of stephen's wholehearted love... and his warm, warm embrace!
Stephen I suppose cradled each and everyone of those friends, and each and every one of us…right up to the end and his very last breath - he was that type of person for Stephen Michael Endress was a very, very special and different type of person in so many wonderful, loving and heartfelt ways - indeed!
HIS MOST TREASURED REWARD SOME EATS!!! Stephen loved to eat and most especially eat out than eat in, even though he was a wonderful cook at that. Yes Stephen's bank account absorbed and reflected that excessive trend of his I suppose. But it was all for fun and reward!
Home Is When the keys chingle and changle and land straight in the trusty white coffee cup
Home is Relieving himself Of Well... lots of things
Home Is checking In on all of his phone messages when nobody was home to find out what's up
home is I shot of juice And every vitamin from a to z For every reason imaginable
JORPEE'DJGJROSDFGLSKFLS,,,eeopr;df/smmvv;d;mmbbiir;wuujKASSK THE PERSONAL TOUCH OF A LOVING, KIND, DECENT AND TOUCHING MAN...
TAKING THE ELEVATOR IN THE GUEST HOUSE TO THE FOURTH FLOOR!

Back then Stephen could be happily seen behind a neat transparent window in his cubicle busy behind his desk working on the Church's weekly bulletin or doing outreach calls to sick parishioner's - he was so good at that!
Stephen's apartment was a tiny but supremely neat and in order. Surely walking through that door on the fourth floor was like walking into a forest of plants (some big - some small) my their was hardly room for his beloved and treasured harpsichord which some how was squeezed in so sweetly and compactly in harmony, wonder and excitement.
Never say no!
It was hard for Stephen to limit discussing an idea and/or request by others with the simple word no. It was most definitely NOT his style to do that. In fact, at least in his interactions with me, I can't remember when he ever used that word. Now As the littlest of siblings in his family he taught me more about the word yes than no and I am much better for it.
Stephen's inability to say no was excessive in itself but I truly believe it naturally created limitations to his time and energy to look after his own needs, his own dreams, his own goals, his own happiness. Ironically it seemed the word NO covered all facets of his own being because he generally applied that word to himself like he felt he was some type of sacrificial lamb which he most certainly was not - he was loved, respected and cherished by many and I don't think Stephen liked that idea one bit.
A SMART WAY OF CARRYING HIMSELF… STEPHEN MICHAEL THE STYLIST!
So smart, so firm at times but sincere in directives, suggestions and purpose. In conversation, Stephen often brought you to the end of result first an/or what might be so that you could look at that end of the so called stick first and THEN tell you why he thinks it is a good idea fist before finally taking you through the parks and meadows of the entire synopsis in a much more leisurely way. After all, you already new where he was taking you - I enjoyed that style and grace of his.
Stephen let you know what he thought, the minute he thought it to get that out of the way. He let you know what bothered him about maybe what he might have felt you were doing wrong (or how you were handling something) or what you might be missing but when all was said and done.
Stephen would often look you in the eyes with the oh so Stephen look that melted you at times right there because you knew for sure he cared.
caring eyes chingle changle keys just Stephen and me! And with that assurance he would get up, pick up his large, chingly, changly large key set out of his white little coffee cup (the keys always overflowed and then some but fit perfectly with Stephen's style and grace) and then he would: announce
it is time to go for food and fun and I knew right then and there with that sly smile he tried to hide on his precious face - I was in also for one of his crazy walks to turn the final page of the conversation I just had with him. Yikes! (gulp!) a passage
to the night... So out in to the big city we went, into the night, the sounds of the city, the stars overhead, the HUGE star twinkling before you STEPHEN just ahead of me as always.
So sweet and quite humble STEPHEN lead the way into the night…Oops there he goes into his routine. A little imitation here and there OF A COUSIN OR TWO, he would THEN stop dead in his tracks…and look at you.. WITH EYES AGAIN - like he enjoyed carrying you with him in his life, on his back and in EVER SO CLOSE TO YOUR HEART. After all, it as STEPHEN'S way - his style and grace - it was so wonderful to be with this guy.
Oh Stephen In Wonderland So I say to you and you who loved this man as I, look at this man and his life in the reflections, of his friends and families eyes. Mention that magical world and watch, watch your eyes light up…he left us all something - somewhere in your past Stephen Michael touched you in such a way you would feel his genuine love and affection for you forever. He probably did that on purpose knowing him.
Stephen was always seemingly "lit" he had a glow about him an aura and then some, for he lit up a room softly and led the way with his trusty lantern, filled with much soul and wisdom through all of our hills and valleys, parks and meadows - for we were never alone once we met him and we never will be if you just take the time to chingle and changle the keys in that pretty white coffee cup for all of us - good work, fine play, don't say no, just let me say over and over and over again I love you - he hated that that's why when he meant it you knew he meant from his soul and touched your heart in return. Remember: to remember those precious eyes. Stephen loved you.
THE SIMPLE SEEDS
OF HIS
SESEME STREET
WERE ABOUND!
NEW YAK CITAE!!!
And the neighborhood he last called home in, centered around a beautiful ancient exquisite Church he lived in at work, at play at home each day for eighteen years. Yet the church was something that he was responsible for but not so important to him in symbolism and in the thick of things but it was the surrounding neighborhood that meant much, much more to THE STYLIST!
Stephen was surrounded... surrounded by the Lovely and World Famous Central Park (it has a zoo too!!), his beloved Lincoln Center adjoined to Alice Tully Hall where he his voice rang out and above all others on many occasions with the New York City Gay Men's Chorus and the his beloved and famed Stonewall Chorale.

THE END

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