August 1 or 2, 2004
TO: MR. AND MRS. SANTA BECAUSE
(SOMEWHERE OVER THE SOUTH CHINA SEA
ATTACHED TO A MEMBRANE IF YOU BELIEVE
IN MY BROTHER'S HARP'S STRING THEORY OF COURSE
WHAT UTTER NONSENCE - DID YOU GET HIS LAST NOTE??
IT WAS WAY OFF KEY WASN'T IT!!!)
FROM: GROUCHO MARX
(FROM A DIFFERENT DIMENSION - YOUR PICK!
AND SOME SAY THAT'S A COMPLIMENT!!!)
DATE: SOME WHERE BETWEEN AUGUST 1ST AND AUGUST 2ND
ACCORDING TO WHAT DIMENSION YOU CHOSE!
SUBJECT: JUST BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU SANTA
AND BY THE WAY...THAT'S MY HAT!
So there you two are...I've been looking all over for you. So the reindeer finally found you SANTA!! Yes sir... they took one wiff of you and they knew RIGHT AWAY where you've been along. Oh don't get embrassed SANTA I have been caught in worse places than you. Yup...rumor has it...you both smelled like fish to high heaven and it gave it away. FISH DETECTORS went off all over the pole you know. The Rheindeer found you in an instance and they sent off reinforcement and had you surrounded. So now that your found SANTA...whatch gonna do now?? What's that? You hate all the notoriety? You wish you could just take a nap and forget the rheindeer thing ever happened. Well tough luck Clause it will never happen...once those Rheindeer pick up a SANTA sent (and pardon the pun but your sent AIN'T GOING AWAY any time soon (pewwwww) it's either you go with the Rheindeer or you'll be a prize for some pret.....ty hungry cats somewhere along this membrane (I mean world) especially some of those KRAZY CATS (gee I never could spell that word) you know what I mean? Why they'll eat you and your MRS. up alive - come on SANTA you knew this was coming - why in one of your last submissions there was a JAPANESE CAT staring you right in the face while you took it's picture...what do you think was on his mind - SUSHI???- guess a again and you'll be a contestant on the new and improved television show WHAT'S MY LINE - yeah believe that one and you'll wake up floating up the river with all those other fish!!!
Oh and ah by the way MR....ahhh.....WILSON isn't it???? That's my hat you were wearing in one of those photo's your MRS. took during the trip. Now ahh....I don't know how you came across it...but I want it back. It was a present given to me by my brother Harpo at last year's convention - at one time it might even have been his - he likes hats like you seem to do - except you don't seem to like to wear you own hats - when do you find the time to steal all those hats with your schedule - well it's beyond me! You know what? You keep the hat - if I take it back I will be forever smelling like fish. If you don't mind, I've always been meaning to ask you...where on earth or hell for the that matter have you dipping that hat of your's WILSON - good god!!!
As for the MRS. well ah....howdy hun - thanks for all the stills you took - by the way I liked that alphabet soup you had...I'll be quite honest with ya...I got hungry after letter A - you coulda stopped there but Harpo's appetite is a little bigger than mine for honey like you....and he went the distance, you know the nine yards...all the way to letter Z. Of course your alphabet came in piece meal and in between he ate so much popcorn he had indigestion of the worse kind and kept mumbling under his breath EEECHEEEWAAA EEECHEEEWAA - I don't speak the language so I ain't got a clue...well any way...
tootle lou to the MRS. and her MOTHER MARY too...
it must have been a pretty "harry" experience with all those Rheindeer following ya there huh toots!!! I'm sure you've got a lot to write home to mama about..
. Well got go...my brother HARPO is giving a concert tonight on his instrument - now if only I could play the flute...
Oh on another note...if you don't mind....pick me up a box of cigars if you can WILSON
so ah...bon voyage
they'll be popcorn waiting on the kitchen table when you get home..
FROM JUST ANOTHER ORDINARY KRAZY CAT
WHO CAN SMELL YOU THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY!!
Hatless Groucho and his brother HARPO and....well...you'll get the picture
When you get home that is!!